I know I haven't written in far to long, its not even funny how long its been, but I guess I can explain it by the small word SCHOOL.
Grade 12 has started, and it is awesome in many ways but so hard in others. Grad cruise is in a week and I am so stoked! I am getting ready with a friend I have been friends with for 15 years... NO JOKE! we are going to get out of school early and then go get manicures on wednesday then get all dressed up! I am praying for good weather but I am sure it will be fun either way. Now for the unfun part... homework. There is a lot of it, and I am even shocked on how much I have with only 5 academic courses but I guess grade 12 is hard, that isn't just a rumor.
I have struggled with anxiety all my life, and it is becoming worse and worse. I have been full on anxious for 5 days straight now. Anxiety for me means... barely can breath, tense muscles and the feeling of crying. Now today I broke, for the first time ever with anxiety I cried.. it was weird. I was talking to my teacher about it and felt tears but ignored them. I walked out and a good friend of mine who understands what I am dealing with walked past me. His first words were "how are you" I looked at him shook my head and kept walking. Now most of my friends would have said okay but he stopped, turned around and stopped me. I broke, I didn't know what to say or feel. He told me to breath... now thats everyones thing, I understand why he would say it, I would to but at that moment, breathing was not even an option. I am thankful for him, he is amazing. He listens and gets me. I ran to a teacher I am close to and she just hugged me, I felt like no matter what I did I couldn't calm down. But after crying, I feel a tad better, I feel not as if I can't breath as much... Now this could be because I am not focusing on it but who knows.
Grade 12 is great but hard. I am starting out rough but I am trying to smile. Thats all I can do right? I have to make this the best year possible, and I will with the people around me supporting me.
" 11:11 happens twice a day, because everybody deserves a second chance"
I thought that was cute so I thought I should add it. I am praying and trusting God with my situation right now. But I am off to finish homework then baby sit
Just me;
- chels
- I am in my last year of high school, with large plans with what the future holds. I am the girl who will do anything to make her friends smile and cares about everyone. I attend a youth group that is one of the best groups around, and that is apart of the outstanding church called living waters. I love hanging out with friends, but also enjoy spending time on my own. I write poetry to express myself, it is one of my hobbies, along with scrap booking. My family is my world, my friends are also. & Jesus Christ is my life.
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