Realizing and letting go

Things have become a lot more real to me lately, especially with people.

I am realizing as much as I don't want to admit it, that I still love the person I really wish I didn't. And I think that is why I have had problems in relationships since him because I am holding onto him and don't want to let go. I was given no choice lately though, he decided to tell me he doesn't want to be best friends anymore, and wants nothing to do with me. So first I had to just be friends with him after two amazing summers with him as my boyfriend and now I gotta let go of the fact he isn't my friend and I can't love him anymore. I am realizing and letting go..

I am realizing how short life really is, and how quick lives can end. I have two friends, one who just lost her dad to cancer and another who is losing her dad to cancer, its real, its there. Its so sad to see people you love go through such hardships. I am realizing even though I understand the loss, my words can't be said right enough to show them how much I care.

I am realizing that my final year of high school is just around the corner and its one of the most exciting but scariest things right now. I have to start applying for universities and scholarships and that is crazy stressful. I am so excited for what this year will bring in friendships but also just in fulfilling my dreams and figuring my life out. But I am scared to grow up and leave the comfort zone of high school. I hate high school but I know I will miss it once I leave.

I am letting go of the fact that people are mean and immature and realizing that I will not have the same friends my whole life, people will come and go. I have realized that people will hurt you and there is nothing you can do about it except get back on your feet and carry on with life.

I am realizing that you can't go through everything alone. We were not made to deal with things on our own and it is okay to go to friends when you need. & I am so thankful for the friends i have because they have gotten me through some crazy and deep things in life :)

So that is what I am realizing, and letting go of. Every day is a new day, a new lesson and a new adventure, all we can do is make the best of it :)